I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
