i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize