What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
