Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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