whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
