I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
