Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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