its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
