He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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