I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
