he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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