i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i now understand why vodka
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
