do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
