So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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