____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
