he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
