There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
