are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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