mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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