just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
