I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
im on a boat
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