If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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