i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
