Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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