I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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