dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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