My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
