P.S. I can't hear my feet
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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