I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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