he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize