I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
