Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
