hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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