You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
