I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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