Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
