I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
