Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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