Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
