So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just had sex bonerless
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
