Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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