she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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