bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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