Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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