bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
