508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
