dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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