i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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