I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
