I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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