I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
