then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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