New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
