Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize