just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
