He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize