I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
