I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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