Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
