I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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