forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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