people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
