Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
