pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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