How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
